Mostly, I just can’t believe Aves is 3. I can’t seem to hold on to the moments long enough. It’s amazing. She’s amazing!
I
can’t believe how incredibly belligerent, stubborn and demanding she
can be, but at the same time be so endearing, loveable and sweet! She
truly captures the essence of how she is feeling when she is feeling it -
dare I call her a drama queen?!
And growing up with
Josh as an older brother, I’m quite confident that Aves will be able to
take care of herself. I used to worry that I needed to protect Aves
because Josh is a typical boy and can be quite rough and physical,
despite our constant nagging about being gentle. More and more, I’m
seeing that I really don’t have to worry about Aves. In fact, soon I
think I’ll have to start worrying about Josh!
It’s
funny because Josh can be quite bossy and he often likes to tell Aves
what to do. I used to sit there, biting my tongue, until the bossiness
got either out of hand or too physical. Lately, I notice Aves will only
put up with so much. When she is done with Josh’s bossiness, she will
say no. At first, she will say a whiny, somewhat irritating, “Nooooo,
Joshie!”. But if Josh continues whatever he’s doing, she will say an
emphatic, ’NO, Joshie!”. And if Josh continues after that, she will
wind up and hit him! Hard. My instinct is to say, “That’s right, Aves,
you show him!” but then I remember that I’m the parent and must set
boundaries. Damn.
Aves is showing so much
independence, too. I am in awe at how she carves this path for herself
despite being constantly surrounded by people. I still love, love, love
that she will cling to me. I cherish this. But I notice in times
where I usually do the letting go or putting down first, now she is the
one who will unwrap her legs from my waist first as a sign that she no
longer wants to be carried. Or she will let go of my hand or hug first.
Then again, maybe it’s just me trying to hold on a little longer! It
truly is a bittersweet feeling for me to watch this change.
With
this independence also seems to come a release of some of her cautious
nature. We were gung-ho parents with Josh, enrolling him in any and
every course to see if he was interested/had an aptitude. We’ve since
smartened up a bit and we haven’t really put Aves in any lessons or
classes because it never felt…necessary. Even when we had her in
parent and tot swimming, she seemed to just cling to us. So we figured
she was fine without.
Josh just started his latest set
of swimming lessons. I took Aves with me to his first lesson of the set
and she cried when she realized she wasn’t going swimming too. I
explained that she would be in a class without Mommy and Daddy and I
even pointed to a class with a couple of kids as an example. She
claimed that she still wanted to go, so I enrolled her. The next week,
she went happily into the class and seemed to take to it. I guess the
real test will be to see if she will be OK with the second class, in a
few days!
We also enrolled Aves in her first set of
ballet classes. This was only after we were at the community centre and
we could not drag her away from the window, watching a pre-school
ballet class! She insisted that she wanted to do ballet, so, after the
same “Mommy or Daddy can’t be in the class with you” speech, we enrolled
her. Her first class is on Sunday. Fingers crossed! This is all
quite new to us, so we haven’t really figured out what we will do if she
decides she wants to bail from her classes.
I should
back up a bit and say that I don’t think Aves has completely thrown
caution to the wind. She just got a run bike for her birthday and she
refuses to sit on it. She couldn’t figure out how to get on it, so we
“placed” her straddling the bike. We tried to show her how to walk with
it, but she refused. She turned to me, looked me in the eye and said,
“No, Mommy.”. Indeed, she knows what she wants, or doesn’t want!
Another
sign of independence that Aves has been showing for quite awhile is
that she HAS to pick her entire outfit. We are talking right down to
the socks, shoes and even the pull-up that she wears! That is a battle
that I’m just not willing to fight. Unfortunately, Aves loves patterns
and colours so she will always pick the most colourful and patterned
tops AND bottoms. I find myself constantly defending my own sense of
style by making it known that she is the one that picks her own clothes!
Oh,
and just so she can be clear that she IS my daughter, Aves is a shoe
horse. She loves shoes and loves to have a selection of shoes. She
calls
Jack and Lola’s “the shoe
store” because I took her there to get shoes when I had a groupon. And
for her birthday, she asked for a pair of Dora shoes. Yes, she asked
for shoes. And being her shoe-hoarding mother, I obliged!
But
to know Aves is just to see her in action. There is something so
completely irresistible about her nature (yeah, ok, I’m her mother so
I’m biased! But it’s true!). I don’t post snippets of conversations I
have with Aves because with her, it’s not what she says, it’s the way
she says it. You just have to be there and talk with her. And then you
also get to see glimpses of her carefree spirit - the way she is
completely content to play on her own with a bucket of sand and a bucket
of water, making mudpies (yes, that’s right! I said
MUDPIES!)
and talking to herself; the way she runs around on her tip toes,
flitting like a butterfly (maybe that’s all part of the ballet thing!);
the way she wants to picked up and flung around the room the minute
music starts playing; and, the way she melts in your arms when she gives
you a hug. It is all so wonderful.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Aves! You make our lives so much brighter and we love, love, love you!
